How to Take Bigger Dildos
Eyes bigger than your hole? Here at Twisted Beast we know a thing or two about big toys. We’ve made it our business to wreck asses across the globe. So, if the spirit is willing but the body is weak, let us guide you through how to take bigger dildos - by us, the big toy experts.
In this guide, we’ll assume you can already take smaller toys. But don’t worry if you’re struggling with anal in general, a lot of this will also be applicable to those of you looking at starting off using ass toys!
Picking the right toy
You may already have a toy you own in mind, so this part might be a mute point - but if you’re looking to size up, there’s some really important things to factor in that could really help you out.
Toy size
If you’re looking to do some width training and stretch yourself wider, take a tape measure to the biggest toy you can currently take and make note of the toy’s girth. As a general rule of thumb, a good idea is to aim for one inch wider than this. A gradual increase this way will make the whole process easier.
If your goal is length, you have quite a bit more freedom here. Don’t just grab the longest toy you can find though. If the toy is significantly longer than you can currently take you’re probably going to be uncomfortable. Trying to keep a lengthy toy upright while only inserting a small portion is going to create some stability issues. Aim for a few inches longer than you can currently take and work your way up from there!
Toy firmness and material
The less obvious decision to make when picking your dildo is the firmness of your toy. While extra firm materials like glass or hard plastics may be easier to insert in some cases (especially when it comes to smaller toys), they aren’t going to be anywhere near as comfortable as other materials.
The gold standard for toys in general, but especially larger toys, is platinum cure silicone. What is platinum cure silicone, I pretend to hear you ask for narrative purposes? Well, without going into too much detail, it’s a form of silicone toy made using a platinum catalyst. The toys are non-porous, non-toxic, easy to clean, durable, but most importantly, comfortable as hell.
You can expect platinum silicone toys to be delightfully fleshy to the touch while also remaining soft and squishy. This is particularly important for when you’re struggling to take bigger toys, you want to make the experience as comfortable as possible for yourself. If you’re tight, the squishy nature of these toys will work with your body to slightly reshape the dildo while inside, instead of working against you and brute forcing its way in.
If you’re curious, you can learn more about platinum cure silicone dildos here. (And yes, all Twisted Beast toys are platinum cure silicone).
Picking the best lube for big toys
Which lube to use with which toys is a whole topic in and of itself (and yes, we’ve written a blog looking at what lube to use with silicone sex toys), but we can summarize what to use for big toys here.
Simply, you want to use Xlube, or an Xlube-alternative for the reasons below:
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Reduces friction more than any other lube, providing maximum glide while riding your toy.
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Water-based, meaning it can be safely used with any toy.
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Dries out slower than other lubes - no need to as frequently stop to reapply lube.
For the reasons stated above, we wouldn’t recommend standard water-based lubes with big toys. The amount of friction caused by big toys would cause your lube to try out far too fast. Silicone lubes can be used if Xlube is not available, but make sure it can be safely used with your toy. Quite often silicone toys (which big toys often are) do not react well with silicone lube.
Top tip: Lube applicators
Now this one surprised me. When writing this blog I naturally approached my friends who are, to put it bluntly, just holes, to see if they had any further wisdom to pass on that I might have missed. This is how I first came across lube applicators.
Purely for science, and no other reasons at all, I soon got my hands on a couple of these, and let me tell you: game changer. If you’re unfamiliar, these are medical devices that you can use to inject lube directly into your holes. Pretty simple, but by god did it make a difference.
Normally when fucking around with a toy you’d obviously lube the object up yourself and your hole as best as you can. Occasionally pause every now and then to reapply lube when it dries up due to friction and start again. By injecting a good amount of lube inside, not only are you lubricating areas you simply can’t reach yourself, but you’re ensuring the toy is constantly getting re-lubed as you play with it.
I found this particularly useful when using a smaller warm up toy that I used standard water-based lube with. Water-based lube’s biggest sin is the need to constantly reapply it, but with the lube applicator I found the amount of times I had to do this was *drastically* reduced. Not only that, but all in all I was able to take the toy to its hilt much faster than I normally would have, and I was far more comfortable. The same goes for bigger toys, while you naturally won’t have to reapply Xlube as much as standard water-based lube, I had to do this even less with the applicator.
This one has made it into my regular toy routine. Highly recommended.
Get in that headspace
This might seem like an obvious one, but it’s still important so we have to mention it. There’s an almost unnerving amount of psychology involved in taking bigger sex toys. If you’re feeling anxious or unsure of yourself, that’s going to work against you. Your body will tighten up and make the whole process a lot harder, if not painful.
So, what can we do to counter this? Essentially, whatever turns you on. Make yourself comfortable, darken the room, put some porn on loud, do what you need to do. You do you. Importantly though, don’t force yourself to train up if you’re not feeling it. Wait for another time. If you force yourself for the sake of consistency and fail, this could demoralize you and have a domino effect for future attempts.
Warming up and choosing the right position
Start off slow. Spend a bit of time using your fingers before moving up to a toy or prostate massager you can already take comfortably. You wanna get blood flowing to all the right places before you start trying to size up. Breathing is important and focusing on regulating this can help open you up.
You want to find positions that don’t twist or contort your gut. Play around with different positions and see what works for you, but I can recommend two common positions to get you started.
Lying on your side on the bed
On a bed, position yourself on your side and move your limbs around so that you’re both comfortable and can reach around your back to insert your dildo. You might find it best to tuck one knee above the other in a fetal-like position, while placing your free arm under your neck. But ultimately, just move around till you're comfortable.
This position works because you’re fully laid out, allowing your muscles to better relax. You’ll have a wider range of motion and angles compared to other positions and much better general control of the whole situation.
Mounting and riding your toy
This works a treat if your toy has a suction cup, as many bigger toys do. Stick your toy to the floor and slowly kneel down backwards onto the toy. Here you’ll be able to control the tempo to your liking, starting slow and gradually increasing in speed and depth as needed.
If struggling, find a small box to elevate the dildo. As you get more comfortable and warmed up you can eventually remove the box for a better range of motion. Do keep an eye on your knees and lower back in this position, don’t over exert yourself and get cramps.
Having trouble getting your suction cup to stick in place? We’ve also written a guide on how to use a suction cup dildo!
Top tip: Poppers (and the benefits of gooning)
Poppers aren’t for everyone but they can certainly help with taking bigger toys. The Muscle relaxant properties of poppers are well documented, in-fact, this was their original use! Doctors in the early 1900’s would use Amyl Nitrite to treat angina, a form of pain caused by muscles in the heart tightening. Low-behold, by the 1970’s gay men found this same property helped with bottoming. Innovation at its finest.
There’s also something to be said about the headspace poppers can bring on and how that can help overcome mental hurdles. If you know, you know.
Top tips from pros
For some final quick fire tips that you might find handy, we took to the big toy pros of the internet.
Warm your toys up
“A big game changer for me was putting my toys in a bucket of hot water. Having them closer to body temperature makes taking them so much easier.
“Your sensitive little hole isn't room temperature so room temperature toys can feel like a shock to the sphincter!”
Consistency and breathing are key
“As a smaller-bodied person I started out just aiming to achieve my largest so it's important not to be so hard on yourself and enjoy the process and just have fun with it! I trained daily for over a year using a variety of shapes and sizes and progressively worked up to bigger toys.
My top tips would be to regulate your breathing to help you relax and definitely use a lot of lube! I only use platinum silicone toys and if you're thinking of sizing up, keep in mind that toys feel firmer the bigger they are so depending on your preference you may want to choose a softer firmness.”
Know the math
“When buying toys, my main bit of advice is to know your measurements. A typical fist is 9 inches in circumference, a double is ~12.5 inches. A toy will be pushing past your second ring at about 7 inches.
“Don’t let your hole try and tell you that you can take 10 inches circumference if you’re not yet at a fist.”
A quick note on pain
It’s important to acknowledge that pain happens for a reason. You’re taking large toys and a certain level of discomfort is to be expected, but there is a difference between pain and discomfort though. If you are actively in pain, that’s your body's way of telling you something is wrong and you need to adjust accordingly. Maybe you need a different position, maybe you need more lube, or maybe today is just not the day for size training. Make sure to listen to your body.
For this same reason, we do not recommend using numbing lubes. You risk seriously hurting yourself if your body can’t tell you something is wrong and you keep going.
Our recommended toys
To round things off, I’ll give you a few recommendations of toys that’ll help you size up. These are toys that’ll help you reach your goals, be them depth or width or just generally *bigger* toys.
Depth training - Depths of Hell
This deep dildo is perfect if you’re looking to breach your second hole and beyond. Beginning with a narrow head, Depths of Hell focuses entirely on length over girth, only slightly increasing in diameter as you work your way down this toy.
The platted nature of the shaft helps to slowly pry you open instead of brute-forcing its way in. All this while feeling pretty damn good at the same time.
Width training - Ted
Our signature silicone butt plug is a classic, yet totally effective shape. Fantastic for width training, Ted starts narrow, reaches max circumference halfway down the body and then gently tapers in again until your hole closes around his neck.
The super soft platinum silicone means you can keep Ted in for a fairly long time to allow your muscles to adapt. Comfort is key, and Ted is certainly comfortable.
General training - Brett
If you’re goals are to just take *more*, Brett is a good generalist. A bit of width, a bit of depth, Brett is good at pushing you in every direction. With a decent amount of width at the top to test your stretching, the bottom half of this toy is a bit slimmer to give your hole a bit of respite while you start working on your depth skills.
